Saturday, June 01, 2019



Noon: wake up, eat, write blogs, shower, look at pool and then sneak in to 15th floor Executive Lounge where we drink a lot of George Clooney coffee.

4pm I pass up on the one-in-a-lifetime chance to watch Midori Takada, a 67-year-old female Japanese percussionist who is exploring a diverse range of Nokia ringtones on a triangle. Benjo's notes say "cinematic, relaxing, nap opportunity".

5pm - I have my first ever bust at security when they find and confiscate my bottle caps. My role as a middle-aged drugs-and-alcohol mule might be over.

5.10pm - Benjo and I meet at the Food Court for one of our five a day (orange juice) while failing to make it to Ray-Ban to see Lucy Dacus. Sorry Lucy.

5.35pm - we race to the Primavera stage to see Snail Mail. This is mainly because Benjo says the singer looks just like Tash. Actually she doesn't look remotely like Tash, apart from the fact that she's a woman in her 20s. We have nothing very bad to say about Snail. I liked her speaking voice ("what a great day to have technical difficulties") more than her singing voice and Benjo didn't like her sunglasses but, apart from that, all very pleasant. The Primavera Sound Souvenir Book (PSSB) really excels itself for nonsensical writing in their Snail Mail write-up - read this and then throw up.

Side note: Benjo is on a last-longer not to have a drink before 7pm. I was eliminated after taking an early slug from my illegally-smuggled-into-venue whisky flask. 4/10

6.30pm - off to the new cabaret room to watch Birkins from the Canary Islands massacre the whole of the Ziggy Stardust album. At least that's what I thought we were in for, but I wasn't worried because I'll listen to Bowie in practically any form and, in any case, Your Heinekin Stage is a great place to play Chinese poker. WOW, NO TIME FOR CHINESE! Cristina Santana made a strong start, then brought on a guy who looked like Bob Geldof and then ex-Posies/REM guitarist Ken Stringfellow bounded onto stage all guns blazing. He rock and rolled his way through five tracks like he was Mick Jagger on Aderall. Jumping up and down, flinging his hair around, flinging the mic stand around, blasting it out. I danced on a table at one point. Ken - you were magnificent and win "Most Energetic and Personal Performance" of Primavera 2019. 8/10

7.15pm - we catch the end of Sons of Kemet XL. As always, the Primavera Sound Souvenir Book is hugely informative ("It’s here. It’s now. And yesterday. And tomorrow. Whatever. It is always.") This is an exuberant World Music type ensemble with four drummers, fab sax, awesome tuba. We'll definitely catch the whole set next week at Primavera NOS in Porto.  7/10

8pm: off to Beach Club for a bit of DJ stuff but Laurel Halo depresses me so we head for VIP and four more hands of Chinese poker.

I'm 38 points at this stage but a handy trips up top saves Benjo from a Day 2 annihilation. He ends the session 4 points up, down 34 in total.

We hit the dance floor for Steffi which I like a lot. Even the PSSB gets this one right calling it "classic house". Yum.

9pm: we pass by Pitchfork stage for rocker Liz Phair. I struggle to understand the USP for these rock chick bands - they all sound alike. Instead I offer to queue for falafels which are absolutely delicious and constructed entirely out of cardboard and sofa fluff.

9.30pm - our first trek to the main stages. First up: Janelle Monae on the Pull&Bear stage. This is a mega show. Must have cost a fortune. Very accomplished. She slags off Trump, homophobia, racism etc and sings lots of great tunes. It's an impressive show.

23.10 - as we're still in the area, I think it might be fun to catch a bit of Miley Cyrus. I know she's a pop star but that's about it. Her set opens with film footage of her eating fruit. It's the most pornographic thing I've ever seen at Primavera and I hope no children were watching as she pouted, sucked, licked, gobbled and squelched her way through a pile of oozing citrus fruits before lathering her tummy and crotch in juice. WOW. Then she came on stage and I'm HOOKED. Fucking hell. Sexiest singer I've ever seen in my life - stiletto boots, PVC trousers, crop top. Jealous-making flat tummy. Gorgeous hair. Great voice. It was stellar. Probably the biggest crowd I've ever seen at Primavera too. Loved every minute. 10/10.

 12.20am - Back to Primavera VIP to watch Low. I liked them when I listened in my bedroom but on stage they were stultifying. They seem very sad and I can only assume it's because of Brexit. 4/10

1am - Yves Tumor is very high on our list of Primavera must-sees. The music is great but Benjo might never recover from the fact that we were listening to playback not actual singing. "It's heart-breaking" he said and went off to drown his sorrows with another half of Heineken.

2am - I've seen Jungle four times now and they are ALWAYS reliable. Catchy tunes and sooooo danceable. Even though the backdrop, set list and line-up never seem to change, they are just fab. Thanks Jungle. Great way to end Day 2. 9/10.

3am - bed. Benjo returns at 6am with another 48 Primavera cups for our collection.

All pics by Benjo