Vegas beckons: preparations for the big one

My "To Do" list prior to departure for Vegas: a triumph of conscientiousness over inertia.

1. Packing and Laundry
This is a worry. I am going to be in Vegas for 17 days. I don't own 17 of anything. We are on a $10-a-day Total Life Support expenses budget in Vegas, so that totally rules out using the hotel laundry service. Rury and Hass are in a villa, so they might have a washing machine but can I really face that?? And surely, if they have one, they will have broken it by now.

2. Enormous tummy
This appeared half way through EPT Season 4 and despite my best efforts shows no signs of vanishing. My best efforts have involved a) giving up ice cream for EVER, b) importing a live-in Argentinian chef who only feeds me soup c) doing sit-ups. Aaah. Damm. Didn't actually do the sit-ups.

3. Win a seat to the World Series
I have to accept this hasn't gone well. In March I won the Sitges Shoot-out Poker Tournament and decided to blow all my winnings on PokerStars steps satellites. I wanted to emulate Lina's superb achievement and also fake a mini-tantrum with PokerStars about whether I could play the main event or whether I would actually have to work. At first it all went swimmingly. I built up a healthy bank of Step 4s and prepared for an intense blitz. Unfortunately I chose to launch my blitz while drunk. Annoying.

4. Work
A lot's going on. And I don't think I've done it.

5. Find my motorbike
It's not where I parked it (18 months ago) and almost certainly has been towed to the car pound. I live in hope that it's been stolen but that won't be happening as I hand-painted it bright pink when I bought it and no one would in their right mind would steal it, and certainly not a Catalan. If it IS in the car pound, which is where it normally is, I have several problems a) an enormous fine as it's months since it disappeared from its parking place b) retrieval issues as it definitely won't start. But if I leave retrieval until after Vegas, the fine will be double my annual income. On the plus side, this will give the council enough money to dig up my road again.

6. Remove barnacles from bottom of new boat
Tick.