Guest speaker

My friend Rich recently had a very bad week. As I strongly believe it's important to let your feelings out and as Richard doesn't have any blog space of his own, I very kindly agreed to let him be a "guest speaker" (as it were) on my blog... so please find below.... in his own words....

RICHARD'S BAD WEEK

With hindsight, not checking the expiry date on the tin of anchovies was a fairly major error. Eight nocturnal visits to the toilet had graphically confirmed this. I went to work on Monday morning feeling like an exoskeleton. It was not a good start to the week. However, onwards and upwards.

On Tuesday I received a chatty email from my ex-fiancée telling me all about her wonderful new life with her new man in rural Ireland. Delete.

The main event on Wednesday was a crucial meeting with the chief investors in my new business. Hundreds, if not thousands of hours had been spent preparing for this moment. Therefore, it was something of a blow when they turned up and informed me that due to the world recession, they were backing out. Could the week get any worse? Absolutely.

On Friday I attended a dinner party with my new love interest. All was going swimmingly until she uttered the chilling phrase “I’d rather be friends.”

There are limits to what one person can take in a week. I felt I was quickly approaching mine. However, the weekend was upon me - a time to relax and recharge one's batteries. What could possibly go wrong? A very bad beat in a poker game? Yes. The theft of my expensive leather jacket in a bar? Correct.

The one of crumb of comfort is that next week can only be better. However, on current form, this crumb will no doubt be eaten by the seagull of fate and leave me hungry.

I am now going to open my mail. I am quietly confident of receiving an eviction order and a paternity suit.