Crunchy Part II

It's been a tense few days. Richard hasn't slept. I haven't been out. We have manned the phones day and night. Finally, the call came. At 15:54 today, Emma rang to say that - thanks to our moving performances at last week's audition - Richard and I have both won parts in the new Crunchy Nut Cornflakes ad.

Yippeee! Hollywood!!! Cannes!!!!! And - more immediately - Sant Cugat!!!!

Richard will be playing the much-coveted role of "Featured Extra (Male)" - at least two other people turned up for that one - and I will be playing "Featured Extra (Female)".

In years to come, when Richard is being interviewed by Parky/Jonathan Ross, he will be able to recall - in mellow tones - that the turning point in his life, the moment when he went from being a total unknown to an instant, overnight, A-list celebrity, came while he was buying some wine glasses in Ikea. I can't remember what I was doing but I will make something up the minute Graham Norton asks me.

Anyway, once the news was out, there was a flurry of activity at Chateau Mad. Emma had requested our sizes!!! I ummed and aaahed between 12 and 14, and Richard retreated to the bathroom to work out some accurate readings of his own. Emma hadn't actually asked for this measurement but Richard thought it worth providing "additional information". For the record, Richard's neck has a 42cm circumference.

The news also necessitated some emergency rewriting of our profiles on Facebook. Richard is now a Crunchy Nut Methodist and I am Fundamentally Crunchy. The shoot is on Thursday - can't wait!